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iPhone Parental Monitoring


rubble

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Way off topic but we have purchased an iPhone for our soon to be teen daughter to use. My wife is employed by the school dist and is well aware of what is going on with smartphones. It's crazy. We need to set the phone up so it can be monitored. With our older son we just had him leave it with us at night so we could keep an eye on use  but know we can knly observe what hasn't deleted. Any suggestions from experience on actual apps or best options to monitor texts, block apps, restrict time and whatever necessary to head off potential issues?

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My son is 13 and there's good reason why his iphone6 has been password locked and in my drawer since he got it a few weeks after last year's Christmas. I got him a flip phone with the data disabled in February so he can text and talk only. That phone is not Wi-Fi compatible so I don't have to worry about him getting on the web nor do I have to worry about him receiving or sending inappropriate pics or images with the data disabled. He hates the "flipper" and is embarrassed each time he has to answer my calls in front of his friends but at least I have piece of mind knowing that he's not looking at porn....or worse!!

Kids can get around all the available monitoring & site blocking programs. Even if you disable the data on a smart phone, all a kid needs is Wi-Fi access and they can search the web, etc. I verified all this info with a tech from Apple. Good luck, rubble!

 

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1 hour ago, conocean said:

My son is 13 and there's good reason why his iphone6 has been password locked and in my drawer since he got it a few weeks after last year's Christmas. I got him a flip phone with the data disabled in February so he can text and talk only. That phone is not Wi-Fi compatible so I don't have to worry about him getting on the web nor do I have to worry about him receiving or sending inappropriate pics or images with the data disabled. He hates the "flipper" and is embarrassed each time he has to answer my calls in front of his friends but at least I have piece of mind knowing that he's not looking at porn....or worse!!

Kids can get around all the available monitoring & site blocking programs. Even if you disable the data on a smart phone, all a kid needs is Wi-Fi access and they can search the web, etc. I verified all this info with a tech from Apple. Good luck, rubble!

 

This was my thought exactly.  You beat me too it.  

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Sorry to be naive but...What's going on with iPhones? Surfing porn? Sending naked pics?  People creeping on them? 

If that's the case, conocean seems to have good idea. No wifi phone would stop internet access, but could prob still text pics I would think....make the iPhone kinda useless tho

 

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Every "smart phone" (iPhone, Galaxy, etc) and "smart device" (iPad, tablet, etc) has two ways of getting on the web and sending/receiving pics.......thru data usage and/or Wi-Fi access. (Also, most laptop computers have the ability to connect thru wired internet connection and/or Wi-Fi as well but that's another issue altogether.)

"Non-smart phones" (ie. flip phone) can only get on the web and send/receive pics thru data usage because those phones don't have the ability to connect to Wi-Fi.

You can disable data usage to a smart phone/smart device but you cannot restrict it from connecting to Wi-Fi. There lies the issue with uncontrollable access for kids using them.

I know too many good kids that have fallen to the temptation of viewing inappropriate sites, videos, pics, etc on their smart phones/devices. I think it's absolutely crazy for any parent to think that their 8, 10, 12 year old kid won't fall to that temptation.....or haven't already! Now that's just straight up naïve IMO.

The phone companies rely on our country's youths to grow their sales so why would they offer a program or phone/device that allows parents to restrict both data usage and Wi-Fi access? It's a real problem. At some point all parents have to make a decision when to allow their kids to have access to a smart phone/smart device.

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The grandparents let the genie outta the bottle for both our kids. We didnt put our kids in phones until they were 12 and we were the only ones because both had friends with the newest iphones when they were in 3rd grade. So we really tried to teach them how to communicate and not have heads burried in devices. Part of that was to also try and shield them from all of the junk out there but they would tell us about what friends were doing and then they were restricted from those kids. They have an understanding of what not to do but we arent idiots. We've been there, although without cell phones. We knew where friends parents had the mags, vids, booze and guns hid. I know what they are exposed to and we've communicated anout right and wrong but we also believe that mistakes are great lessons. The key is to avoid the big ones because those lessons can be devasting. 

That said, we are closely monitoring and looking for options to keep the Bad out. We've already seen inappropriate messages coming in and we've handled that swiftly and in a manner that the kids sending it will never do it again and will be warning others not to and our kids know they never want to be face that wrath  

Currently we restrict the apps.  There isnt any snap chat or apps that they can make stuff disappear.  Part of our plan is for the kids to know we are able to see everything and most all know that so nobody eants to send stuff that they know we ha e a good probability of seeing.  The only problem is with all the steps we take, their friends still have access that can expose our kids.  We can't keep them in a bubble but we can take appropriate measures and hope that those help our kids understand how important they are ti us and how critical that making proper decisions are when presented the opportunity.  

 

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Good points, rubble. I just don't like the fact that we as parents can try to filter, monitor then address a situation after the damage is already done on the smart phones/devices. I've seen some horrible things go on with my son's peers on their iPhones. Awful in fact. And it only took a few minutes. The only way to avoid that altogether is to not give our kids access. That's what I'll continue to do for now but you're right....at some point I will have to give in (14 or 15 yrs old?) and hope my son makes the right decision when I allow him to have his iPhone back.

After coaching dozens of kids over the past several years I can tell you that most of them do not make good decisions and fall to temptation more often than not, even when they have a solid family foundation at home. Never will I give in to my son trying to sell me on "my friends have this...or my friends have that". I could care less what my son's peers have or don't have. Parents that give in to that garbage is part of the reason why kids are so darn spoiled today IMO!

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You are dead on. It's crazy out there. We learned a lot when our kids were in elem school and we had a 17year old exchange student from Berlin that was Gaff Mag material. My wife is a school administrator, cousin's son is starting QB, former players I coached in HS, buddies coaching, lots of connections to our school which is in a small town (little bowl/big fish stuff).  Girls and boys taking nudes and sending them around. A Dad finds out his girl's biz is on every guys phone in the high school so he calls in the po-po.  First thing they say is sir i can charge each boy with dist of child porn but unfortunately we have to start with your 14 year old FR daughter who sent it first. Tough lessons to learn.  Still the kids think... oh, that wont happen to me. Just crazy. So our kids, at a very early age, got to see and hear all about what the pitfalls of making stupid decisions are. Guys were sending our German pics every day and asking her to send some of her to them. I call up some players parents, coaches, etc and my wife is telling admins about what was going on. That Slowed things down some but 4 years later and a new group of kids and it is a retraining process. Our schools are starting to address it with kids earlier and more frequently. Scary what is out there and what is going on. 

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